Curling

Despite growing up just 13 miles from the "Curling Capital of the United States," I did not truly appreciate curling until the current Winter Olympics. So how did ambivalence turn to love quicker than you can throw a stone? See the following:

1. The US curlers are the epitome of what I think the Olympics should be about.

They all have regular, non-glamorous day jobs: Nurse, substitute teacher, bartender, IT analyst, etc. And they don't get paid to curl, they do it because they love it. They even have fundraisers in their home communities. There was a lot of disappointment this year when the teams didn't do that well, but when you keep in mind that curling isn't their profession, it's a lot easier to cut them some slack (and to be really impressed when they do well). The Chinese teams, for example, live and train in Canada 10 months of the year and do nothing but focus on curling.

2. Curling has a sort-of punk/alternative cache.

While everyone else obsesses over Lindsey Vonn, Apolo Ohno, and figure skating on NBC primetime, curling fans follow the matches on lesser cable networks in real time. Curling may not have speed, but it has lots of cool lingo and awesome non-spandex or sparkly uniforms. Check out the Norwegians' argyle pants:

The athletes are also total rock stars.

We have the the Danish punk (those skirts are fantastic):



The Swiss goth:



And of course, Duluth's own emo-boy (he even records his own music and posts it on myspace):



3. You actually learn things from the announcers.

Because curling is based so much on strategy, as opposed to speed, there is actually time for the announcers to explain what is happening. Similar to the telestrator that announcers us to explain football plays after they happen, curling announcers can listen to what the players are saying and doing and show you what shot they are trying to make, before it happens.

You also get to learn all kinds of ridiculous trivia about the players because there is time to talk about them. Like how John Shuster and Jason Smith have been best friends since high school, and how Jason is going to be John's best man in his upcoming wedding. Or how someone's favorite food is french fries.

4. I don't have to risk my life to play the sport myself.

If I want to go down to my local curling club, I will not need to dress in armor to protect myself from death. No helmets, no pads, no weird dicky to keep my throat from being slashed. Maybe just a sweatshirt and some gloves so I don't get cold. And warm socks. My first thought when watching most winter Olympic sports, "how does anyone learn to do this the first time without breaking their neck?" See aerials, luge, downhill skiing, half pipe, etc. This is just not a problem with curling.

5. Minnesotans!

Four years ago, the US curling teams were populated almost entirely by people from Bemidji. Yes, Bemidji. Four hours north of the Twin Cities, technically considered "the middle of nowhere" by many people. Bemidji has a mall whose main attractions are JC Penney and Herbergers. Their high school mascot is a Lumber Jack. But they have lots of Olympic athletes! And this year, the majority of the men's team are from Duluth. As everyone who isn't an idiot knows, Duluth is awesome. Also, these dudes from Duluth are all roommates (see #3 above re: trivia). There is no other time ever when towns like Bemidji and Duluth will get this much national, and international, attention. What's not to love about that?

6. Curlers know how to bring the sexy.

First, the US curling team sells its own brand of condoms. Seriously. Hilarious and genius marketing strategy.

Second, take a look at the rock stars above. WAY more appealing than Julia Mancuso and her stupid tiara. Curling's hotness has not gone unnoticed either. The European Curling federation even put out a calendar with nude photos of the curling hotties.

Finally, during every single match, over and over again you will hear someone yelling at the top of their lungs "Hard! Hard! Harder!" The yelling is directed at the sweepers but I'm sure Michael Scott would be in heaven.